It’s that time again. The Hell in a Cell PPV is front and center for WWE at Staples Center. We shall get the third installment of the “Undertaker vs. Brock Lesner feud”, hopefully this will be the climatic finale. Along with my commentary I will be posting quotes from my brother. He is a die-hard wrestling fan and his quotes are usually spot-on (and entertainingly fantastic) to the moment. Enjoy.
Match 1 – John Cena (c) vs. ??? (US Title: Open Challenge)
Interesting that the WWE would schedule an “unknown element” to start the show. I love how John Cena is perfect for a crowd like LA. They have such fickle fans, he has to use his comedy more there than in any other city. He knows that “a boring opening monologue” isn’t going to win him (or the match) any fans.
All right, let’s see who it’s gonna be!
Ugh, not Jack Swagger…ANYONE but him. Really? Really? … Really?
Wait, maybe not, maybe….. No never mind, it is gonna be Jack Swag……wait, what?
Holy crap, didn’t realize he was even in talks to come back. It’s true! You can’t go anywhere else to make a living, you HAVE to come back to the Devil himself. Ha ha ha ha….. it is to laugh.
I can’t believe Alberto Del Rio is back in the WWE. The crowd wasn’t nearly as hot as WWE wanted I suppose. Well here’s to a great match. Deep down inside I think Del Rio is going to take the belt back tonight, we shall see though.
Great job by Cena to let the crowd acknowledge Alberto. Del Rio looks just as sharp as when he was US Champion last. Wonder if they’ll let him use the ROLLING CROSS-ARMBREAKER on Cena? Nice back forth so far, showcasing Del Rio’s moves for the WWE Universe (just in case we forgot what they all were). Del Rio is looking good right now. Great first match by the WWE, sets the bar right for this PPV.
HA HA HA, I was right! Alberto Del Rio is the winner!
WINNER – Alberto Del Rio (via pinfall – NEW WWE United States Champion)
“This PPV isstarting off strong, right out of the gates” – My brother
Steph, HHH, and Seth, make a great trio in a promo. There’s Corporate Kane! Ha ha ha…..he’s so funny. Hope he wins for no reason. Ha, not really. I actually think that Seth Rollins is a (could be a) great WWE Champion.
Match 2 – Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns (Hell in a Cell Match)
WWE does great intro promos. Always have. Always will. Bray does a masterful job on the mic. Reigns has vastly improved his “mic game”. Interestingly enough, the fans seem into this match. Nice. I hope Bray wins in a way to put both over, since it is in the Cell.
I love Bray’s intro. The Fireflies are AMAZINGLY scary by the way (if you really think about it). WWE once again stumbling upon a phenomenon via the WWE Universe. This should be brutal. I mean it should be anyway. They do have all the other matches to live up to after all.
DAMN. The Cell is SO HUGE now, Jeebus. Don’t die Undertaker (We’ll get there later obviously, just saying).
Nice exchange by the two powerhouses.
“Worst mistake WWE made (besides ending the streak) was breaking up the Shield (because of ego or whatever), which led to the breaking up of the Wyatt Family, because…..who are they going to feud with if there is no Shield? Shield vs. Wyatt Family could have been epic…”(The rest pretty much goes on in that vein, you get the idea)
– My brother
Hell in a Cell works into both of these guys’ wheelhouse. Raw power, brutality, no technicality needed, weapons, nice pops from the crowd, no need for any storytelling. As long as they don’t mess up the end, or back down to 70% for no reason near the end of the match, they will perfectly follow-up the US Title match.
Hey, a kendo stick. Now a chair. Ha, Bray sits on the chair and beats on Roman with the kendo stick. Oooooh…..both are now sticking out of the cage about upper chest high. Let’s see what comes of this. Brutality I hope! AAAaaaand……Reigns meets the kendo stick with his head. The crowd LOVES it.
AAAaaaand……..OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH…….Bray eats the chair. That’s got to have hurt a little bit.
Table! Nice! And another one. Ha.
“Tables, kendo sticks, and chairs….Oh My….Hahahahaha” – My brother
ROCK BOTTOM through the table on the outside! Hahaha. Bray used Rock’s move on Roman Reigns. This is a great second match for the PPV. The crowd giving Roman the “Cena treatment”. Bray’s in total control right now. Brutal match so far. I am pleased. Wonder how they will conclude this one. It has got to be near completion.
“Man, this is gonna be a hard match to follow up…” – My brother
HA HA HA they got the crowd, after Reigns put Bray through the table. Got ‘EEEEEEEM! Only a two count guys. More importantly though….they own this crowd right now. Anything more at this point is gravy in my book. Can’t wait to see how it ends. I think Roman actually may pull this one out………no, SISTER ABIGAIL….reverse into a ROLLUP…….oooooo…….almost a three count. SUPERMAN PUNCH…..NO!
Almost over now. I can feel it. SPEAR through table number 3. Nice.
Reigns now in control. They looked gassed. A lotta pressure in this match to perform, totally understand. They have to finish strong though if they want to seal the deal and close.
SISTER ABIGAIL…….1…….2…….NOOOOOOOOOOO! They fooled me that time. I thought that was it. Kudos WWE. Kudos. They definitely had the crowd for sure…they thought it was 100% done.
Bray laughs now. Kendo stick? Meet Roman Reigns. Ouch. Ooooooooooooooooooo……..kendo sticks sticking out of the turnbuckles now. This is going to be ugly (one way or anther). Ouch. Bray gets it in the face. SPEAR. AAAaaaand yes. Over.
WINNER – Roman Reigns (via pinfall)
“Hahaha…..I was wrong. Next up is Dudley Boys vs. New Day for the belts….excited….because….New Day Rocks! Hahaha.”
– My brother
Match 3 – The Dudley Boys vs. New Day (c) (WWE Tag Team Championship)
I love the fact that The Dudley Boys are back in the WWE. They compliment the New Day in their stage of development. Funny how the Champs are coming out first. I think the Dudley’s walk away with the titles, only to drop them tomorrow on RAW, tonight.
Haha, obligatory Lakers hate by New Day.
“I’m going to play the Bongos on Bubba Ray’s belly, like a White Kamala” – New Day
This is going to be an excellent match (hopefully) after those two singles matches. A great transition between that BRUTAL Hell in a Cell and whatever is going to be next. We’re going to get almost a “Cool down match”, even though this match is going to hold its own against all the other matches that will happen tonight.
Ow, that was a brutal mess up by the Dudley’s on that team leg drop. Ha ha, Biggie regains the crowd with his “all about the booty” dance.
New Day in control now. Probably a time for a Dudley surge before the end of the match. Here it comes. Ha.
Whoa. Where did that DOUBLE DROPKICK come from?!? Amazing. Wait, what? Hahaha. Kofi with the acting. This is amazing right now. Ha. The ref almost did it, but then no. Match continues. 3D time? Nope. TROUBLE IN PARADISE. New Day retains.
WINNER – New Day (via pinfall – Retains WWE Tag Team Championship)
Match 4 – Charlotte (c) vs. Nikki Bella (WWE Women’s Championship: No one is allowed Ringside)
Poor. A.J Lee. Ha.
This has potential to be a solid match. Hopefully Charlotte retains, and moves on to bigger and better feuds after this.
The Staples Center crowd is still pretty hot going into this match. I say good placement of the match by WWE. Hope they give them 15-20 minutes, at least.
Nikki bringing her A game tonight. Say what you want about her, she always tries (and usually succeeds) to bring her best to the match. Nikki carrying Charlotte right now. Charlotte looking pretty gassed right now. Either she’s a great actress, or she’s gassed from the PPV rush fading. I’m guessing the latter. WHOA……..SPINEBUSTER by Nikki. Starting to look like a new Champ in the works, which is why I think CHarlotte retains. Ha.
Nice NECK-BREAKER from the corner by CHarlotte. Great match so far for both these ladies. Charlotte has brought it on since her sluggish start. SUPERPLEX…….NO! Some sort of reverse by Charlotte. SPEAR. FIGURE EIGHT…..no, can’t bridge it. Nikki forces the break. Interesting.
Ouch. ALABAMA SLAMMER on the apron. WHOA…..Going for the RACK ATTACK. NO! FIGURE EIGHT!
WINNER – Charlotte (via submission – Retains WWE Women’s Championship)
Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose locker room promo. Hmmm…. ambiguity for RAW. Nice. Good Sell there by Reigns. Hey…Bill Simmions and Seth Green. Not surprise.
Match 5 – Kane vs. Seth Rollins (c) (WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Demon Kane loses, Corporate Kane is fired)
So…we’ve come to this eh? This better be a brutal match. And why isn’t this the second to last match on this PPV?
“So, the Heavyweight Championship match is next but there are still 2 more matches left after. Basically, it is like the bathroom break match. Kane vs. Rollins is like the ‘waste of time match’.”
– My brother
I wonder when they are just going to let Seth Rollins “run the show” as the Main Event Champion? Hopefully soon. Kane is going to give Seth a great match though. He’s a star maker given the right circumstances. He’ll probably go on the offensive early and gain the advantage. Seth will battle back here and there. Back and forth and then somehow Seth is going to take/do a HIGH POP and not only once again steal the show, but retain the Championship….because that’s what is good for business.
The crowd wants to hate him, but at this point they only really pity him. I mean ,we in the Universe know that Rollins is immensely talented. It’s just that Creative has miscast his Championship run. They wanted a kind of Edge-type of Champion. Instead they have a WCW Jericho Cruiserweight Champ-type of Champion, and it’s NOT working here in WWE. They haven’t lost the Universe yet, but they’re getting impatient with the misuse.
Great match so far. Kane doing what he does for his opponents, and Rollins seizing the moments like he always does. The announcers do a great job of elevating Seth Rollins as well. It’s really just Creative dropping the ball countless amount of times, when it comes to booking his finishes.
I guess I understand why THIS match can’t be second to last, but that’s not the wrestlers fault. Seth should have been set up better for this PPV and been a Co-Main Event with Lesner and Taker. Just my two cents.
“Demon” Kane is the better Kane in my opinion. He’s more brutal. More “ruthless”. Exhibits more high risk moves on the outside. POWERSLAM by Rollins. Didn’t break the Spanish announce table. Ouch. Probably going to get POWERBOMBED through the other table before the end of the match. We’ll see. FLYING KNEE by Rollings. Another FLYING KNEE. SUPERKICK. Another one. Seth goes up top. FROG SPLASH. Kane. KICKS. OUT!
“EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE! EDDIE!” – The Crowd (chanting in unison)
“Kane vs. Rollins was what it was….not many matches, other than a Superstar vs. Jobber, have endings that have been that predictable.”
– My brother
Good to see Neville staying as relevant as he can.
Match 6 – Kevin Owens (c) vs. Ryback (WWE Intercontinental Championship match)
Kevin Owens is better than this match, but it is what it is. At least he is having a Championship run in the WWE. I hope he wins and moves on to “bigger and better” opponents.
The crowd is ALWAYS SO HOT for Kevin Owens, he better get a long IC run.
This should be a great match up between two big guys. Kevin Owens can work both types of matches, let’s just hope that Ryback doesn’t hold him back in this match. Crowd waiting for something. Kevin Owens trying to give them that “something”. Ryback trying to match Kevin Owen’s intentions. POWERBOMB by Ryback. Two. Ryback….Up top? Nope SUPERKICKED to the floor by Owens.
Back to it now. Going for the SHELLSHOCK. No. Owens on the ropes. POP-UP POWERBOMB. Owens retains.
Good, decent match by the two of them. Owens definitely carried this match, and Ryback didn’t mess up too much so…win win I guess. At least Owens retained.
WINNER – Kevin Owens (via pinfall – Retains WWE Intercontinental Championship)
Match 7 – Brock Lesner vs. The Undertaker (Hell in a Cell: Chapter III)
I now know why the WWE Championship couldn’t be the second to last match. There needed to be a build up the anticipation match in between those matches. If the WWE Championship match was before (or after) the Hell in a Cell match the crowd would have had to choose which match to exhaust out for. This way they could go 100% for both matches and have a match to recover in between. I can dig it, I guess.
Still a cop-out WWE. Give Seth Rollins a chance to carry the Brand.
Anyway. Back to this thing. First these are all of the Taker/Lesner texts (that seem relevant anyway) from My brother:
“Dude, I feel scared for the Undertaker vs. Lesner (Hell in a Cell Match). Taker is just too old and has a wrecked body”
“Main Event – Taker vs. Lesner….Hell in a Cell…..scared Taker is gonna get hurt. Hahaha, hopefully he finally retires. He doesn’t need to do this anymore.”
“Holy Crap…!…Just holy crap, match is still going on.”
Now that I have you thoroughly enthralled by My brother’s insight and commentary let’s get on with the damn thang.
Wonder what the Undertaker’s entrance is going to look like. Ha. Nice. Lesner in first. WWE knows what the crowd wants. The Undertaker entrance. Bell Toll. Lights. Electricity.
I got robbed. Ha.
Back to reality. Hell in a Cell is going to be EPIC. I can feel it in my bones. Can’t wait. Man the Cage is big now. 13th Hell in a Cell for the Undertaker. That’s funny. Taker’s won 6 times out of the previous 12. Lucky #13? Unlucky #13? We shall see I guess. I say Lesner wins in a Classic, One for the Ages, Greatest Hell in a Cell Match of All Time – type of match. Let’s Go!
Nice stare down to start. Wondered if it was going to start in, or out of the Cell. Taker is 50+ now though, so makes sense to start on the inside of the Cage. Gives the Taker more longevity for this match. Crowd is back to being HOT again. This has been a great PPV for monitoring/guiding the crowd through their emotions, from match to match.
Nothing has really happened yet, but you can feel the brutality in the air. The crowd abuzz in silence makes it even more palpable. Brock is already bleeding. Really bloody now. So…
I like how this is starting out. I am a fan of these avenues. Lots of brutality. Lots of blood. Lots of moments for the crowd to “pop” and “cringe”. The “doctor” checks up on Brock’s cut. Brock back to whaling the chair at Undertaker. Now…..OOOOOOWWWWW right in Taker’s jaw with the chair. That looked solid.
Brock trying to open up Taker now. Let’s see if they both bleed. Probably? Yes. Taker bleeding from the forehead now. Looks like Taker and Brock said they weren’t going to fuck around. Holy Shit. Chair to Brock’s throat area. Feels only halfway right now, so pretty early for all of these bullets to come out. This sets up for a ridiculous middle, and a……dare I say it? Le….gend…(wait for it)…ary ending.
First suplex. Oooooh. Two. Is Taker in SUPLEX CITY? Well….there’s three now. F5. There it is. NOOOOO! The crowd was only 1/2 fooled on that one. The boo birds are the ones that were fooled twice. Second F5.
Another kick out. Hmmm.
Please keep it in the ring WWE. Please.
STEEL STEPS time for the Undertaker. OOOOOOW. Ha. Another kick out.
Please keep it in the ring Taker. Please.
“UNDERTAKER! UNDERTAKER! UNDERTAKER!” – The crowd (chanting in unison)
Brock gets his attempt at slamming the STEEL STEPS on Taker reversed. Taker still down. Both are bloody. HELLS-GATE. No way. Wow, Lesner pummeling his way out of it.
Huh? Brock rips the ring apron off the ring. Hmmm. Interesting.
Please keep it in the ring.
CHOKESLAM on the exposed ring. This is one weird match. Great Main Event though. Highlighting both wrestlers and not making Taker look too old, also not making Lesner look weak (or inferior in any way).
TOMBSTONE. NOOOOOOOO. Lesner kicks out. They had the crowd on the one. I was Fifty-Fifty on that one. I thought, “No fucking way? Really? Oh, okay that’s what I thought.” Ha ha ha.
LOW BLOW. Not illegal in the Cell. Wow. Good use of the LOW BLOW. Another F5. A third one. There it is.
Thank you for keeping it in the ring WWE.
WINNER – Brock Lesner (via pinfall)
“Damn, that was exciting, brutal, and quite awesome. The ending made sense, and was the right kind of ending.”
– My brother
(Ha, threw in one more at the end.)
That was all in all a great PPV in my opinion. It started off hot and through the ebbs and flows of Hell in a Cell, WWE did their jobs and had the finishes that should have been (in my opinion). Creative has miscast a lot Superstars, but they did enough of their jobs tonight. The wrestlers did the rest and they did a fantastic job of it this PPV. I’m actually looking forward to watching Monday Night RAW tomorrow.
Well. It’s been real people. Glad Taker walked out of there on his own two feet, and stretched out by REAL ems specialists.
“Thank You Taker! Thank You Taker! Thank You Taker!” – The crowd (chanting in unison)
Thank you Taker.
Whoa. I was about to finish up. Here comes the Wyatt Family. Glad I didn’t stop the PPV and walk away. Hmmm. Is he joining the Family? Please tell me he’s going to “lead” the family. Nope. Just beating him? This is interesting. Wonder where this going to lead? The crowd is receptive to this so…go WWE?
Hmmm…..LOTS of heat from the crowd. Can’t believe they held a LA crowd in the palm of their hands all PPV, right up til the end.
They’re taking Taker with them, crucifix style. Wow. Comes back brainwashed on RAW? Interesting way to end the PPV. I actually want to watch Monday Night RAW now.
Kudos WWE. You did a great job with a “minor” PPV. A for the product.
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